Ice cream flavors & other important decisions.

Decisions have never been my strong suit. 

In college, when I had recently begun dating my now-husband, we once went to the grocery store for some ice cream.  After reviewing the many delicious sounding Blue Bell and Ben & Jerry’s flavors, we walked out with not one, not two, but three pints.  Little did I know this was a foreshadowing of what was to come.  Last time we counted, we had 19 pints of ice cream in our mini New York freezer.  That’s a lot of real estate to dedicate to ice cream in our tiny one-bedroom apartment. 

It’s a silly illustration, but an apt reminder that we can get tripped up making decisions between multiple good things. 

Many times I’ve asked ‘What does God want me to do?’

In my experience, I often ask this question when I don’t want to bear the responsibility of the outcome.  I am not fully convicted about which way to turn.  I want to move forward but I also want to have someone to blame if the outcome varies from what I was looking for.  So I ask God to tell me what to do.

When I interned at International Justice Mission (IJM), I debating a reasonably meaningful decision– whether or not to transfer colleges.  The internship was also a pivot point for other interns as they decided where to attend graduate school, whether to spend a year volunteering abroad, or which career to pursue. 

Over lunch, we asked the founder of IJM how to discern the will of God when there are multiple ‘good’ options.  When you’ve asked for clarity but seem to come up short, what are we to do?

Gary’s response struck a chord with me, partially because it was so unexpected.

He told us that when he had graduated college he had two opportunities – one in the fight for justice and one in the fight against hunger.  He prayed, sought counsel, waited…. And heard nothing.  He felt consistently like God refrained from pushing him in either direction.  He finally, somewhat randomly, chose the path of justice. Decades later he has had one of the most meaningful impacts on our modern day world.

Side note:  If you’re not familiar with IJM and all they’ve accomplished – this story may seem inconsequential.  But for context, IJM has rescued thousands of people from modern day slavery; their work has protected millions as they’ve established stronger local justice systems around the world.  They are the leading non-profit fighting human trafficking, among other forms of violence.  To think that the founder was inches away from pursuing a completely different cause, that he almost didn’t rescue all those people from injustice, somehow feels wrong. 

It sounds extreme but it prompts me to ask, what if on a coin flip Abraham Lincoln hadn’t run for President?  What if Paul Revere hadn’t gone on his midnight ride?  What if MLK hadn’t ‘had a dream’?  The world would be a much different, and likely sadder place if these things hadn’t happened.  Though of course, God could have also gone on to accomplish the same feats of these figures, just through different people.  The world will never know.

Gary expanded on his decision to join the fight for justice. He shared there are certain things he wants for his kids – specific ways he desires their well-being and flourishing. He is vocal about those things.  But sometimes, he takes them to the ice cream store and he doesn’t really care which flavor they choose. He just wants them to enjoy their ice cream.

Maybe it’s the same with God. 

Maybe sometimes, when God doesn’t urge a certain direction, he cares a lot less about which decision we actually make and more that we trust Him and enjoy it.  Some of the most important decisions I’ve made in my life (to transfer colleges, to marry my husband, to pursue a certain job), haven’t been because I felt ‘called’ to something or because I prayed about it and got the okay – but because I wanted to. 

Not every decision in life is about what we want – life is far more complex than that.  But for the choices that have multiple right options, I hope you can stop laboring over each pro and con and just choose – and be sure to choose the flavor you love, not the one you feel like you’re supposed to get.